Thirty

I'm thankful that when you lay something in the hands of God, He always provides.

Throughout this year I've been asked to lay down a lot of things...and to be honest I haven't been very good at leaving those things in God's hands.  It's as if I feel that left there those things are unsafe.  Unprotected.  Vulnerable.  But when I really think about it I'm afraid to let go, I'm afraid to leave things in God's hands because I'm afraid of what might or might not replace them...especially the might not.  I've believed the lie for far too long that if I place things in God's hands then there will be a void in my life.  There is reason that God says "Do not fear" so many times in the Bible because fear is often what holds us back the most.  I don't lay things down because I'm afraid of losing something good.

But God doesn't disappoint. God doesn't let us down.  God always provides in ways far greater than we could even begin to hope.

For the last few days I've been comfronted with the need to place a certain situation in God's hands.  To lay it down.  To trust Him with it.  He wasn't telling me no, just wait (though I am quite thankful that I wasn't told no this time sometimes I think no's are easier to deal with in the long run haha).  Wait.  Wait and quit trying to make something happen that only He can make happen.  Have faith that He'll provide. Believe in His promises.  Laying down the good to obtain something great.  Him.

As I thought about placing things in God's hands I thought about Abraham.  I can't even imagine what was going through his mind when God asked him to sacrifice his son.  His long-awaited, promised son.  The same God who fulfilled His promise to Abraham that He would give him a son was now requesting this son be sacrificed.  Abraham didn't hesitate.  He didn't ignore the call.  He didn't try to rephrase it or even plead his case.  He laid his son in God's hands.  Knowing that though he loved his son, he loved God more.  He had faith that God was who He said He was.  The One who keeps His promises.  The One who provides...and He did.  When Abraham laid Isaac in God's hands, God provided.  How Abraham's faith had to have grown that day.

Then I think about Jesus.  He placed His life in God's hands.  His disciples had heard the promises that He would rise again but for 3 days they had to wait.  They had watched their Lord, their Best Friend, their Brother be tortured and killed and now they waited.  The turmoil of those 3 days.  But Jesus did what He said He would do.  He laid down His life and something great came from it.  True life for us.

I'm not being asked to die or sacrifice my son (which is good since I don't have one), but I know God is asking me to place something in His hands.  To be honest I don't really want to.  But I imagine that Abraham didn't really want to sacrifice Isaac.  And Jesus asked if there was another way.  However, they both did what God called them to do.  They loved God more than anything this life could offer.  And Jesus especially knew that it wouldn't be easy, but it would be worth it.  That's what I want.  I want to place this in God's hands and trust Him to do more than I could even ask for or imagine.  It won't be easy but it will be worth it.

I prayed about placing this in God's hands and the image that came to mind was this...when I place it in God's hands He grabs hold of mine.  He interlocks His fingers with mine and reminds me of His love for me.  Reminds me of His promises.  Reminds me that His is faithful.

As I prayed I began to cry and at first the tears seemed like tears of mourning.  Like I was grieving this.  And I heard the faint whisper of voice I hadn't realized I hadn't heard in a while asking, "Do you trust ME?"  With that my tears no longer seemed of sadness but rather tears of being overwhelmed by the Love of a Savior.  And with that I know that this won't be easy, it will be worth it.  Because anything that brings back into the arms of the Lover always is.