I'm sitting in a mostly empty room (which is a mess as it has been for the majority of the semester) waiting for 2 o'clock to roll around for yet another last as my college career comes to an end (Note in case you're wondering I started this blog left my last Yamatos Time at 2 and now I'm back waiting around time with some of my favorites).  It's hard to believe to that four years have come and gone.  They feel as if they flown but at the same time crept along.  It's bittersweet as I cherish the last remaining moments at Gardner-Webb.  College was nothing I expected.  It was so much more.  There have been tears and times of deep confusion and pain, but the joy and the laughter have always outweighed.

Endings always bring me back to the beginnings.  Back to where it all started.  I came to Gardner-Webb as I was just beginning to realize the God is a God who always loves us.  I came to Gardner-Webb in some ways to escape.  To start anew.  To reinvent myself.  I found instead that sometimes the place we want to escape is exactly where we want and need to be the most.  That starting anew does not mean forgetting what we have been brought out of as I once believed  Instead starting anew means rejoicing in God's sovereignty as depicted in our pasts through our pasts.  I did start anew while at GWU, but anew in my perspective of what my past means to me...the chance to cherish it and see the beauty in it.  The beauty in the brokenness.  Reinventing myself does not mean changing who I am to fit a mold.  It means finding myself in the One who calls me His.  It means living to glorify Him.

Here are some lessons I have learned and will always cherish as I set out on the next leg of my journey...

His dreams always surpass my own.

 He is truly the God who is able to do more than we can ask for or imagine.  Trust me four years ago I never fathomed that I would be going to Spain or that would get to travel to Ecuador, Mexico, Costa Rica, Guatemala, Wales...and Boiling Springs and Lake Placid...I never taught about being an ESL teacher or let alone pursuing foreign missions...But He did.

 Family...they're insane...but they are always there when I need them...they love you regardless...put up with you at the best and at the worst...keep you laughing...help you keep life in true perspective...give you the courage to believe in yourself because they believe in you...

The best friends are the ones you never expect to have...

The times which seem to be the biggest challenges are often the times where we find the biggest joys, too..

Friends are a gift...cherish them always...

Life is messy, but always worth it

God pieces our lives together perfectly...He brings us together for a reason...

Kids put life in perspective

Take time and enjoy the beauty of life around you

Take pleasure in the simple things

He is always faithful...always...

There are endless opportunities awaiting...we just have to be obedient and trust Him...

As stated above it's hard to believe that in a few days I will walk across that stage and drive away from Gardner-Webb...I'm excited for what lays ahead but I will always be thankful and blessed because of my time at Gardner-Webb...

He Knows the Way

"When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, You knew my path."  

Psalm 142:3

While reading in a devotional book yesterday, I read this verse and was immediately comforted. Lately life has felt so overwhelming.  Student teaching comes as a joy somedays and on others I feel as if I am fighting a losing battle.  This weekend I found my excitement about the possibility of heading to Spain renewed, but along with this renewal came a sense of dread of having to wait and push through Student Teaching to get to the point where Spain is a reality.  

But as I read this Psalm the Spirit reminded me of how God knows my path.  He knows my path because is alongside of me, holding my hand each step of the way.  And He goes before me preparing the path.  The Lord has also been with me each step of the way.  Knowing He is goes with me brings comfort as I head off to teach middle school students tomorrow.  It reminds me that the Lord Jesus is the Lord of my classroom.  My God is not confined to the church building, but He is ever present at the my schools.  He truly is everywhere.  Knowing He goes before brings me comfort to know that He will give me the strength to continue on during student teaching for His glory.  I know He also goes before me to prepare the way for Spain.  And knowing the Lord has been with me each step brings the reminder that I am currently at my assigned schools for reason.  I truly believe, regardless of any frustrations, that I where the Lord has desired me to be.  

So take comfort the Lord directs our paths.  Leading us to the places where we will be brought closer into the presence of the Father...into the arms of the Lover.

Much Excitement, Much to Contemplate, Much Praying to Do

Well, that final post about Spain never came...maybe one of these day I'll get good at this whole blogging thing haha...then again maybe not...

But once again I find myself sitting on my couch in the somewhat more desolate than usual town of Boiling Springs about to embark on my final semester as an undergraduate student (however, I have this strange feeling that this final semester will feel nothing like an undergraduate semester ;) As I sit here I know there is so much to reflect on and how I could easily write this blog post for hours based on my experiences from just the last two weeks. It's hard to believe how that in the time since leaving the Webb I have taken 7 plane rides, spend time in 3 different time zones, been in 3 different climates (well, 2 were pretty cold haha), been in 2 countries/continents, spend time with those whom I known my whole life and those whom I have met within the last 3 weeks ago. I don't say this to brag; I say this to show how awesome a God I serve because He alone is the One who brought and orchestrated this Christmas break.

Heading to both Spain and Urbana (it's a missions conference not a country in Africa like my dad thought) has provided me with a lot to digest. In a period of two weeks I have experienced God turning my vision for my future completely upside down, inside out, and whatever other direction it could possibly go. Maybe I'm just seeing it clearer or maybe I'm seeing it differently for the first time. And while there is a lot to digest there is even more to sing praise about. I have feel like I peace for the first time in a long time.

Going to Urbana the leader of our group asked each of us to explain in one word what was something we hoped to gain from Urbana and I said peace. I have longed for peace so much since coming back from Wales. I have longed to know what it means to be content once again. Well, I learned contentedness comes from choice. The choice to be obedient. Over and over at Urbana I was reminded how as Christ was obedient to death on a cross, I am obedient to share His love wherever He has placed and go and do what He asks. I know this is going to be challenging but I know it's worth it because He is more than worth it.

So what's next...PRAYER!! And lots of it. I have much to consider and much to bring before Him. I heard His voice so much this week, but I refuse to allow it to stop here. I must continue to seek His face and listening to His voice.

I know there much more to say...but for now I leave you with Hakuna Mungu Kama Wewe - for there is no one like our GOD :)

Grace and Peace!

Joys

My decision to start a new blog is slightly twofold (my more than that fold depending on how you look at it). For one I am no longer in Wales. As much as this saddens my heart, it is a fact I am coming to deal and appreciate (even if I don't necessarily like it). I am currently in Boiling Springs, NC and, well, I have struggled greatly trying to find the joy in being here. It's not that I don't want to be here, but it's not that I do either. It's not that I'm unhappy, but to call myself fully happy would be a bit of a stretch, too. I guess you could say this blog is in more ways for me than anyone else. But I want to share it with those who love me enough to reading my ramblings on the worldwide web, even if they are usually just a series of random thoughts floating in the mist of cyberspace. This is an attempt to capture the joys I am experiencing all around me that I have been overlooking a lot lately.

I have been learning for the past few months that life is not about that one big moment, instead it is a series of little moments which establish who we are. These moments are often viewed by me as routine or mundane. But the fact is these are the moments God gives me to worship Him, to love Him, to grow closer to Him, to find joy. These are the moments I want to capture.

So I will start with today's moments (these are not in chronological order)...

• I had the pleasure of witnessing a class full of education majors in essence freak out over the possibility of an unknown bug. I pass no judgment because I was definitely one who was freaking out along with practically everyone else. (And freak out may not be the best term to use but let's just say none of us got out of our seats to assist in its removal and the majority of us relocated our bags to chairs). The culprit was never found, instead a lost pen cap was unearthed. Was the pen cap the true culprit or did our creepy crawly friend escape for the time being? Regardless, this incident reminded me we all hold fears, some rational and others could be argued irrational. There are things in this life which cause us to be tremble and even slightly panic. I don't like bugs, but the area which I fear the most is my future. It terrifies me to the point that sometimes I feel sick just thinking about it. God does not call me to live in fear; He calls me to live by faith. To trust Him with all that I am. It's hard to release the fears which often hold me captive, but God is some much bigger than my fears and desires so much more for my life. He calms my fears and offers me peace which none compares.
  
• I think I have a thing with bugs because this evening at the Verge as I sat listening to the testimonies of students' summer experiences right below my eye underneath my glasses I felt something round attempting to crawl closer to my eye. Thankfully, I was able to hold my cool and not totally panic but it amused me (and creeped me out) a bit to discover this small moving object was indeed a ladybug. After the Verge ended I was sitting at the bottom of Dover Theater when I felt a little round creature crawling up my arm underneath my sweater. Low and behold my little ladybug friend had returned. I guess this just a reminder that life is completely unexpected. One thing I feel God is teaching me right now to expect nothing (because life tends to not turn out as I would expect it anyways) and to just expect Him to show and do something absolutely amazing.
• Since I am currently using this as a form of procrastination I just want to quickly share a few things which God revealed to me tonight at the Verge. I need to remember God has placed me where He desires me for a reason. He wants me to reach out and build relationships with those around me. To truly love as He has loved me. I have to trust in His plan and not mine. To live by faith wherever He has put me. I must keep the Kingdom of God in the very center of my life. And if I am not actively following Christ, He will not send me anywhere nor will He have much reason to use me. I don't want to miss out any longer. I want to live more and more in His Kingdom in order to share His hope with those around me.
  

Well, these are today's (not all but some) and my desire is to share the joys I am finding each day (meaning I will need to carry my journal and/or daybook with me at all times haha). I want to learn to see God is all things around me.

May the One who painted flamingos pink, gave skunks their unique smell, and decided the length of your feet receive all the glory and praise. (Doesn't it amaze you to know God was that creative...just think about it)