Spain Lesson #1 - No Perfect People Here!

It becomes all to easy to question why God has brought us through something. Wondering if we made the right choice. If this really was the will of God. Or did we in our inept, incomplete wisdom make a mistake, get it all wrong? As I prepare to leave Spain that has been my attack...questioning whether I should have come to Spain in the first place.

Now's the a hefty question I know. Part of it springs from the fact I have never fully felt apart of Spain. There are people I love here. I love ECA for that it is. I love the history and the richness of this culture that lives up to its own motto of, "Spain is Different." But in serving at ECA I see in myself how at least at this time period I was not wired to live forever in Spain. I think I thought I would leave Spain with painful departure, my heart breaking over my leaving. Honestly, that's not the case. I'm sad to leave behind dear friends and students. I will miss Lavapiés and even the charms of Camarma (though probably not the Camarma bus).

But the realization that I won't be heartbroken in my leaving surfaced this sense of failure. In my insecurity, I questioned my being here. But God is faithful. God's ways are so not my own. And thank goodness for that. And God in the mist of my doubting hearts reassures me that I needed Spain. Just as I now need to leave Spain, I needed Spain.

I've learned a lot. I've discovered a lot. I've succeeded with God. I've failed a lot without Him. And without Spain I would not be where I needed to be.

So here are my Spain lessons. Some serious. Some funny. Some painfully honest. But all what I needed.

Lesson #1 (Oh please note - these are not ordered in any particular order)...

I am the product of two Christian schools and a public school. Reflecting back I know some of my public school teachers, many who were not proclaiming Christians, were more loving than some Christian school teachers I had. Though my best teacher and my worst teacher all came from Christian school.  Christian school gave me lots of Bible knowledge, but failed to instill in me the idea of a relationship with God. Rather I learned more about the rules of being a Christian in Christian school (I did not go to a legalistic school). My struggles with materialism and reading the Bible/praying daily stem from Christian school. And trust me kids are no nicer in Christian school than they are in public school.  As a small child I somehow got indoctrinated that public school was evil (my mom and aunt were public school teachers so I'm not quite sure about this philosophy). This is not a bash on Christian school. I am grateful for time at both of mine despite all the bad. This is rather to say you'll be hard-pressed to convince me that Christian school is the better option to public school (but that is a story for another day).

But God led me back to Christian education after my public high school experience. And God knew I needed Gardner-Webb. I needed a place that encouraged me in my faith, but let me make that choice on my own rather than forcing it down my throat. And my coming to ECA has in many ways restored my faith in Christian education.

Early into my time at ECA I became frustrated with the handlings of an ELL student. Now I have to admit, I was far too naive and new to ECA to realize some of the bigger pictures. I cringe a bit reflecting on my attitude during this as I became upset with some people I have come see as a wonderful and loving. I was the new teacher with big ideas about ELLs. I wish I could change some of the handlings of that time period, but I can't. However, I am grateful this time period because it taught me something (well, actually two things as I learned the value of not jumping in with all your opinions when you're brand new and don't know and fully understand the whole picture).

One day during this time I let out the building frustration to my then officemate, "I would have expected this treatment of ELLs in the public system. But this is a Christian school?!"

Lonnie graciously looked at me and retorted with, "What you mean there are imperfect people, imperfect teachers in a Christian environment? What you're telling me imperfect people make up the body of Christ?"

I needed that sarcasm more than you know. I needed the reminder that we Christians lack so much. And the simple label of Christian does not mean something will be perfect. That becoming a Christian does equate perfection. It doesn't mean we make the right choices. It doesn't mean we carry the right attitude. It means we are redeemed by grace because the love and sacrifice of Christ. We try as hard as we can to be like Him, but even on our best days we never measure up.