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Eighty-Three

January 28, 2011

More family in town :)

My Aunt Tanya and Mimi (my grandma) arrived in good ole Lake Placid this afternoon.

Wonderful time of visiting, checking them into their extremely fashionable, most luxurious hotel available in Lake Placid, and stuffing out faces with scrumptious food.

They're here until Sunday and I'm so thankful that they flew down from North Carolina/Virginia to see me once more before I head out next (I LEAVE ONE WEEK FROM TODAY!!!!!)

Eighty-One...Eighty-Two

Eighty-One
Life is full of blessings.  I would be lying through my teeth if I denied how blessed my life is.  One area that I really have been abundantly blessed is through family - especially extended family.

 My dad's family is in Florida.  We've always lived within 10 blocks or so (less than 5 minutes) away from my Nanny and Poppy.  My aunt and uncle has never been more than  few hours drive.

My mom's family is in Virginia and North Carolina.  And even though there is quite a distance, we've always been blessed to have them involved in our lives and the chance to see them quite regularly.

My Granddaddy and Melissa have been in Florida for the past few weeks They're reviving their Florida.  When I was I in elementary and middle school they used to come to Florida for several months in the winter - snowbirds who can drive :D - and this is the first year that they're staying down south for several months.

Yesterday, Melissa and I went shopping for things for Spain.  Mostly cosmetic items that I wasn't running low or medicine I wanted to make sure I have before I left.  Also the dollar is weaker than the Euro so several things were cheaper to get here than to get there.  Melissa and I had a great time!  It was such a blessing to spend the afternoon/evening with her.  It was encouraging and I am so thankful for the time I had with her before I leave next week.

Eighty-Two
Today officially marks my final day of working for my church.  And it was hard.  Harder than I ever imagined it would be.

Hugs from children who have come to mean so much to me and have taught me so much melted my heart.

Flowers from one little boy who has grown so much these past few months.  Who reminds that me investing and believing in someone can have an impact beyond what we could ever comprehend.

Tears from Carlyn-my-Darlin which reminded me that I have touched a life, even though her tears made me tear up and as I write this the tears come once more.  I pray as she grows God continues to touch her life.

Sweet dinners from families who have guided me and encouraged me through this journey from day one - long before any of knew where this journey would lead.

As Sonbeams ended today two 4th graders who have become very dear to my heart these past few months asked, "Why do you have to leave?"  And I responded, "Well, sometimes God calls you away and you have to go."  They didn't quite understand this answer, but laid something upon my heart at that moment and I added, "But do you know what, I wasn't even supposed to have stayed this long.  I was supposed to have left in August.  But instead God kept me here until now and think how we wouldn't have gotten to know each other as well if I had left in August."

To think I wasn't supposed to have stayed.  At times I was so ready to leave.  But I'm so thankful that God knows what He is doing and that I did stay longer and if for nothing else for them and all they taught me.

We miss because have been touched.  We miss because we love.  Missing isn't easy...but I would rather miss something than never know that feeling.  Because I would rather love.

Eighty

January 25, 2011

Today officially began the lasts.  Lasts are harder than you ever imagine.  But because they are hard mean you have been touched you.  They are hard because you have loved them.

Today's last was hard (well, I actually had two lasts today - last staff meeting - which actually was sad too because the staff at my church have encouraged me, helped me, and blessed me so much over the past few months :)...Last Explorers...

Sweet Kids

Sweet Surprises

Sweet Sweet Jesus :D





Seventy-Nine

January 24, 2011

I'm Thankful For...

Hot Showers (and taking one in less than 5 minutes!)...

Warm Coffee in mug that only looks like a paper cup...

Giggles from a little girl who thinks she can ride the turtle statue in the church garden...

Tears that stop when I pull out the "app-sauz" (or applesauce)...

Lunch with grandparents and good conversation....

Schooni's Jumbo Sweet Tea (enough said :D)...

Gifts for helpers...

Crossing things off my to-do list...

Encouraging conversations with a best friend who lives way too far way...

Cuban Subs from Publix...

Finally doing something I've put off doing...

A Savior who loves me despite who I am..

Seventy-Eight

January 23, 2011

Encouragement.

Words that speak kindness.

Words that build up.

Words that strengthen and renew.

Words that make you smile.

Words that leave you speechless because thank you just doesn't quite seem adequate enough.

Words that take way the reminders of the negative words spoken.

Words that remind us that we all God's instruments of love.

Words that are from Him.

Words of love that were unexpected and in a sense catch you off guard.

So let's do it—full of belief, confident that we're presentable inside and out. Let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let's see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching.
Hebrews 10:22-25 (The Message)

Seventy.Six...Seventy.Seven

January 22, 2011

I believe both of my "thankful fors" are things which I have had a change of heart about.

Seventy-Six - Packing Before the Last Minute
Let me just throw it out there...I HATE PACKING! It overwhelms.  It forces my brain into organizational mode and normally it all just kind of floats up there.  I am a "what if" packer so I always bring too much or at least try to take too much.  And let's face I have never packed for this long of a time period (As my mom said, "You're moving in suitcases"...Oh and in case you're wondering - I'm taking everything in suitcases on the plane!)

The longest I have ever packed for is when I went to Wales for two months.  I waited until the last minute to pack.  I had a meltdown.  Which is silly because in the end it's all stuff.

So I wanted to avoid any potential meltdowns (actually I refuse to have one haha) I decided to start packing last night.  I didn't get much put into suitcases, but I did start pulling out things which were 100% going to Spain with me and then after I packed I would add other things if there was room.  Today I caught up on laundry and worked on transferring the items that were 100% going into the suitcases...and I have 1 suitcase packed!!  My goal is to only take 3 suitcases and I think I meet that goal :D

I'm thankful for the good advise of mi madre to start packing early. It's less stressful and gives me more time to spend with loved ones before I depart!

Seventy-Seven - The Book of Genesis
I would like to throw it out there that I love the Bible.  It is by far my favorite book.  But to be honest until recently (and by recently I mean like since the beginning of the month) I was not a fan of the book of Genesis.

I clearly remember sitting in my freshman Old Testament Survey Class with Dr. Qualls on the first day and we all had to go around and share our thoughts about the Old Testament.  She wanted to see where we all stood when it came to reading the Old Testament and what are opinions were on it.  Most people said they enjoyed the stories or the the Psalms.  Several agreed they liked the New Testament better (well maybe not better but they read the New Testament more).  When it became my turn I blurted out that I hated the book of Genesis.  I announced to my OT Survey Class at my Southern Baptist college that I avoided reading the book at all costs.  Needless to say this good some interesting looks and reactions.

What would cause me to claim hatred and loathing of the first book in the Bible.  My despising for Genesis can be traced back to the third grade (this was by far my least favorite grade ever but that's another story).  I went to a Christian school meaning Bible was a required subject.  How did my evil third grade teacher teach the Bible to us...by having us round robin read (another soap box I won't get on b/c I could spend an hour describing the ineffectiveness of this read-aloud practice in schools) the book of Genesis.  In case you aren't familiar with round robin reading, it is basically where every student is required to read and you go around in a circle where each student reads either a sentence or a paragraph aloud to the class.  In our case we each read a verse.  Now I normally ended up lost because one of the ineffective features of round robin reading is the ability to figure which verse you have to read and you practice reading it in your head until it gets to you, so I would never pay attention to what the others read because I was so busy trying to practice my verse in my head.  I was not a particularly strong reader at this point in my school career and not to mention the book of Genesis is filled with super long names that I've heard trained pastors stumble over.  And to make matters worse the book of Genesis is not G or even PG for that matter...and let's just say we didn't skip some parts.  I hated third grade because of my evil teacher and the fact that kids are mean and this was often made apparent during Bible time as we read through Genesis.  So the book of Genesis has always been associated with the third grade...I hated the third grade, so the first book in the Bible got the same treatment.

Since my announcement of hating the book four years ago, I have read.  I have even read it voluntarily several times.  My hatred has waned and I even began to appreciate the book.  But I started reading it again this month as I am trying to read the Bible in chronological order my heart changed toward this book.  As I read no longer did feel the reminder of horrors of third grade.  I realized there is something beautiful within the pages of that chapter...the beauty of a Creator.  The beauty of a promise keeper.  The beauty of the One who is merciful.  The beauty in the God who always provides.  The beauty in the Beloved who orchestrates all for His glory and our good.  I saw a God who seeks to pour out His love and His blessing.  A God who desires to know His creation.  A God who seeks and provides a way for redemption.  A God who does not abando and did not choose to start all over.  A God who takes us as we are and refines us. A God who is a matchmaker.  A God filled with love for me that nothing compares to.

That's why I'm thankful for the book of Genesis and pray that God continues to reveal Himself to me in the mist of His words on its pages.

Seventy-Five

January 20, 2011

The children had all been picked up from the playground.  I gathered my notebook and I was about to head upstairs to clean up the mess left over from Sonbeams this afternoon.  When all of a sudden two sweet girls run up to me saying, "Miss Caitlin, come quickly! Hurry up! We have something to show you!"  Though one had to leave, the other one took me upstairs.  What was it they had to show me?  What were they so eager for me to see?

They had come up while I waited on the playground for all of the Sonbeams to be picked up, and cleaned up the entire mess.  They put everything away because they said they wanted to do something nice for me since it was almost my last time.  How sweet :)

I'm thankful for two awesome girls, who have incredible hearts' of servants already being displayed!  And I will definitely miss them :)

oh and in case you were wondering these two were not part of the Sonbeams club.  They're 4th graders and come to club on Tuesdays.  One's mom helps with Sonbeams and the other is our Associate Pastor's daughter who lives across the street from the church, so they were over there playing haha...no worries I wasn't not watching the kids and having them sneak off haha

Seventy-Four...the things I will miss

January 19, 2011

As My time in Lake Placid dwindles with each passing minute and as Spain looms closely on the horizon, my mind fills with the excitement of what is come but the sadness of what I will soon miss.

I don't enjoy missing things.  Because normally what I miss aren't things, they're people.  I don't enjoy missing people.  It hurts when something exciting happens and I long to share the joy with them.  And it hurts when I need hug or just a shoulder to cry on.

 I am not normally thankful for missing people.  Actually, I don't think I have ever been thankful for missing the special people in my life who happen to be miles and miles away.

But this thought came to me today...I miss people and places - but especially people - because those people and places have impacted my life.  I miss people because I have and do love them.  I miss those who have changed me for the better.  I miss because their footprint on my life has inspired me.  I miss because I have been touched in a positive, loving manner.

While we may have been impacted by the times of pain in our lives, we don't miss unless we have loved and enjoyed.  For example, I don't miss the third grade, wearing braces (especially the months I had the expander :-P), or having my heart broken.  These each impacted me, but I do not want to relive any of these experiences.   But those whom I have loved and are now not physically present with me, I miss...I miss Wales, the 8th grade, and being with friends at Gardner-Webb.  

It's okay to miss as long as we don't cling to what we miss and then miss out on the blessings God has given us in the now.

As I prepare to leave there is much to be missed.  I much that I have loved and love.  Much that impacted me for the better and inspired me to live for Him.  So bear with me as I prepare to leave as I share my thankfulness for that which I will miss.  As I cherish what I have been given and I step forth into something new.  (And I apologize if some of these seem a bit repetitive.)



I'll miss...

This little thief...today she stole both my apples, my glasses (I took them off to take a picture of her and then she grabbed and tried to wear them so I snapped some pictures - but then when I tried to get them back they almost died a most painful death haha), the remote control, and my phone....
















But then again how could you not miss this face :)

Seventy-Three...His Love Never Ever Fails

January 18, 2011

i'm thankful the love that never fails.  the love that never lets me go.  the love that is patient.  the love that is kind.  the love that is sacrifices itself for me.  the love that is for the unloveable.  the love that is undeserved.  the love that is relentless.  the love that overwhelms and leaves me breathless.  the love that is woos.  the love that is intimate.  the love that is steadfast.  the love that is perfect.  the love that is HIS...


Seventy-Two

January 17, 2011

warm coffee in a gardner-webb mug

a car that is as quiet as a mouse

visits with a granddaddy where he makes sandwiches (yummy pimento cheese and peanut butter/banana)

a nanny who calls to tell you pbs has a special on about españa

chats with far-away friends

leaving for spain to-do lists that are shorter than expected

customer ratings and reviews that are easy to understand

puppies that want to sit our your lap

virginia country ham with biscuit, rice with sugar, and granddaddy's special scrambled eggs for dinner

pbs specials on spain that make me even more excited to explore the country and experience the people

days to wear north face raincoats

the challenges of reading job in the morning

the desire to not to merely be a spectator but rather dance with my beloved

Seventy and Seventy-One

Seventy
I'm quite thankful for the opportunity I had yesterday to attend the wedding of one of my childhood friends, Erika.  Until yesterday I hadn't seen her in several years, but her and her family hold a dear place in my heart.  When I think back to my childhood besides family members I have more memories with Erika and her family than probably anyone else.  It was so wonderful to see her on her very special day and I pray that her and her new husband, Justin, are blessed as they begin their new life together and that Christ strengthens and deepens their love for one another.





Seventy-One
I'm thankful to see my Granddaddy :)  I'm glad that I'm able to see him and my step-grandma before I leave for Spain in 19 days.  He came into Lake Placid last night, but we didn't get to see him until today since we were in Fort Lauderdale for Erika's wedding.  But tonight he came over for dinner and tomorrow we'll head over to his RV where we're going to get to eat country ham (yum!!)  I'm thankful for awesome grandparents and glad I'll be able to see all of them before I leave in February!

When I saw Granddaddy and Melissa in November and we ate Lotta-Burgers in Cherryville!

Sixty-Nine

January 15, 2011

I live in the third "oldest" county in the United States.  No Highlands County was not founded over three hundred over years ago - more 90 years ago.  But due the ages of the citizens residing within our county limits, Highlands has achieved the honor of being the third oldest since we have a high population of people over 65 living here.

And unfortunately I know I don't often see this as a blessing.  I get annoyed when they drive 30 miles down Catfish Creek Road - the speed limit is 45 but I'm pretty convinced as late that someone changed it and didn't bother to tell me.  I don't enjoy going to Publix during the middle of the day because I don't always find myself amused when I have to wait behind them in line.

 But there is so much to learn from older people.  They offer so much wisdom and encouragement.  God calls us to teach those younger than us, but in that we should be learning from those older than us!

I was in the church office yesterday morning and Pastor Drew came out of his office with an older woman and was telling her about a song that played on the Joy FM (one of the Christian radio stations in LP) that reminded him of marriage.  He turned to me asking if I knew the song and gave me some of the lyrics he remembered.  As it turned out I had the song on my iTunes ("God Gave Me You" by Dave Barnes - see having a ridiculous music collection can come in handy haha) so the three of us sat there and listened to it for a bit.  Afterwards, this woman and I began talking.  I told her about Spain and she sweetly said, "I've been praying for you, so it's nice to finally have a face when I pray!"

So be thankful for the older people in your life and all around you.  I hope this reminder helps me to be more thankful next time I crawl down Catfish Creek...the reminder to slow down a bit and take in the life God has given me.

Sixty-Eight - My Thankful List

January 13, 2011

I'm thankful for...


  • Scripture in the morning.
  • Sweet e-mails from Spain that answer my many questions and invite me to do stuff once I arrive.
  • Warm coffee in a mug my grandpa painted me.
  • Soft coats.
  • Space Heaters.
  • The reminder that every once in a blue moon Florida does have a somewhat winter day - though no snow.
  • Encouraging words.
  • Concerned family members.
  • Family members making a trip down to Florida to see me before I depart.
  • Cuban subs from Publix.
  • Publix.
  • Bible lessons that God brings together.
  • Buses that start.
  • Children that smile without any front teeth.
  • Children that help without being asked...sweetest thing today during craft time:
    • Meredith - "I can't cut.  I'm not very good at it."
    • Lake - "I'll help you cut."
    • Me - "Well, I can help you cut Meredith."
    • Lake - "No, I really really want to cut hers for her."
    • Me - "Well, how about I do Meredith's and you do yours."
    • Lake - "No, Miss Caitlin, I really want to cut hers first and then I'll do mine."
    • Me - "Lake, that's so sweet of you but I want to make sure you both have enough time to finish so I'll cut Meredith's."
    • Lake - "No, I really want to cut hers first."
    • Me - "Okay, you cut Meredith's and I'll cut yours."
    • Lake - "Hmm...okay!"
  • Hugs from cold little soccer players...I love getting bombarded by four little boys with hugs.  And the little girls hugged me too were quite sweet as well.  
  • Heaters that work quite nicely as I attempt to thaw out from the cold soccer game.
  • Medicine that makes earaches feel better.
  • Warms baths.
  • Early bedtimes.
  • A Savior who didn't chose the religious or the rich or the ones who were mature and had it all together...the Savior who chose the tax collectors, the poor, the dirty, the sick, the children...the Savior who choose me and choose you.

Sixty-Seven Part B

In the mist of being at a loss to fully express my thanks to God, there is something that my heart is literally bursting about.  I have to share it.  I cannot contain it.  But for whatever reason I did not feel this and the other should share a post, hence Part A and Part B.

So Part B...

I have currently holding a visa issued by the Consulate General of Spain in Miami!!

I prayed early this morning when I left Lake Placid that this visit to the Consulate would be less interesting than the last.  I'm pretty sure my prayer followed something along these lines, "God, I know the last time made for a great story, but please let this time be less interesting."  And indeed it was.  I won't bore you with details, but I was in and out of the Consulate in less than 15 minutes (that includes accidentally getting off on the wrong floor and waiting for the elevator to take me to the right floor haha).  My wonderful Daddy drove me to Miami today (which is something to be quite thankful for since I abhor driving in that city and he has driven there most of his life and since he worked for FedEx in Miami for many many years he knows all the back ways and shortcuts...we left later than we I went in October and got to the Consulate's in less time) and thankfully he had only gone to Publix (the greatest grocery store in the world for those of you who have not been blessed enough to venture into one - I'm not kidding the best grocery store in the world haha) across the street.  I'm thankful for some time shared with him today.  We went into Publix to get some medianoche bread (sweet Cuban bread that is incredible but not found as easily in Lake Placid) and plantain chips (again another item not as easily found in LP).  We killed some time before lunch at a store in the Dolphin Mall and then ate at one of my all time favorite restaurants, Shorty's Barb-Q...Yummy!  Shorty's is a South Florida favorite and I grew up eating it pretty regularly.  We didn't eat the original since it was too far South and way out of our way so some of the childhood nostalagia was missing but the food hasn't changed in the 20 years I've been eating there and at a different location.  So if you're ever in Miami...here my two of my recommendations


  1. Don't stay at the sketchy hotels hear the airport - ask Claire Saunders for details on that one haha (this only came to mind because in the mist of texting people about getting my visa this came to mind haha)
  2. Eat at Shorty's Barb-Q all the food is good but you absolutely must eat the coleslaw and the corn on the cob :)
Well, I'm pretty sure I got to rambling once again...I'm pretty sure I don't know how not to ramble...but I like details and well sorry if the details confused you haha

But here's the main purpose again of this post...God provided! I have a visa in my hand...and I as of just checking I have a departure date set - airline ticket and all :D  

I wanted to show you a picture of my newly returned passport and visa (and in case you're wondering, yes, that's it...when I showed it to my mom she said, "That's it!  I thought we'd get something to frame or something cool like that.  We waited all this time for a sticker!") and I may have gotten a bit carried away haha







Please excuse the blurriness and the dirty mirror...note to self - clean mirror tomorrow haha
 
And in case you were interested, you can check out my first Consulate adventure here :)

Grace and Peace!

Sixty-Seven A - Blessed Beyond Words

January 12, 2011

The song "Indescribable" by Chris Tomlin just popped into my head. Our God truly is the Indescribable One...words cannot even begin to describe who He is and are never adequate to praise Him for all He has done, is doing, and will do for us.  As I sit in my once again messy room and I cannot help but feel at a loss for how to fittingly praise Him for all that He has done today.  Words cease when I feebly attempt to explain His beauty, expound upon His grace, or express my gratitude.

Much comes to mind as I try to determine the way to word this post.  But nothing seems adequate...nothing seems like enough...

God, my heart longs to fully praise You for the works of Your hand demonstrated before me today...but my words fail me.  You are the glorious One...the beauty and the light in this world so dark and cold.  You answer prayer and use us - dirty and broken sinners - to display Your majesty.  Thank you is not enough.  A blog post is not enough.  May my life, may my days, may each breath I take be an offering of thanks to you.  I give you this life that You gave me.

Sixty-Six

January 11, 2011

Blame it on laziness.

Blame it on tiredness.

Blame in on the fact that my throat feels like it's about to close in on burning hot liquid and my ear feels as if someone is forcing a screwdriver down it (in less graphic terms I don't really feel great today).

But I promise I am not taking the easy way out to day (if I was doing that I just wouldn't post haha).  I really am thankful for this.  It blessed me so much this afternoon.

We all need encouragement.  We all need to hear the kind words of a true friends.  We all need to be reminded that people love us and like us.  We all need to know that our lives are making a difference.  And this afternoon I found myself needed that reminder.

But we serve a God who meets all of our needs in ways far greater than we could ask for or even imagine and when I loaded up facebook and saw a post from one of my favorite Welsh friends - well she actually falls under the category of favorite friends but I added in the Welsh part for clarification.  Her post was what I needed today and God gave it to me just when I needed it :)

I'm thankful for His provision in the simplest of ways and how He uses our friends to be the vessels of His love for us :)

Rea's Post about me...it made me smile :)

Sixty-Five

January 10, 2011

Today, I'm thankful for a lot of simple things that I often overlook...

I'm thankful cafe con leche - especially when I forget my coffee on the kitchen counter.  It's quite sad to reach into your cup holder in your car and expect to find your coffee mug and there be nothing haha.  Thankfully, one of my co-workers at the church makes a pretty amazing cafe con leche which was far superb than my coffee and milk :)

I'm thankful for a little girl in her rockstar outfit and how she makes the silly faces and laughs so hard.  I'm thankful for her concern for me...she kept after me each time we went outside that I needed to zip my jacket.  She would pull on the zipper and say, "Zip! Zip!" I guess all the times I've made her zip her jacket left her thinking that mine needed to be zipped, too.

I'm thankful for the chance to spend some time with my grandparents...I love them :)

This afternoon (as well as yesterday afternoon) I found myself quite thankful for a nap.  Why I didn't appreciate naps as a child I'll never know because I sure do love them now and wish I could take them more often.

I'm also quite thankful for sweet little letter from my Compassion child (or fridge kid as Katie like to refer to them as - but since my sweet little girl doesn't reside on my fridge I guess she's my dresser kid :D).  I loved reading her words in Spanish (and understanding what she was saying).  I'm thankful for the chance to build a relationship with her even though she is in Ecuador and I know that one day I'll be able to go and meet her in person (Ecuador is where I went on my first mission trip to and forever holds a dear place in my heart and I pray that one day I will return there - I also pray that about Wales, Mexico, Costa Rica, and Guatemala haha).

I'm thankful for yummy dinners and time shared with my family :)

I'm thankful for skype! I love that I can chat with awesome friends even though they're far away (like across an ocean).

I'm thankful for funny, random 2-hour plus conversations (that definitely don't feel like 2 hours) conversation with one my favorite Welsh friends!  Always a blessing :)

I'm thankful for the encouraging words of Carrie Sippy!  She always knows what to say when I need to hear it and she makes me smile :)

I'm quite thankful for how God provides much needed news about our youth group and I'm thankful for His answer :) (I would have been thankful because He's in control either way but I'm thankful for the answer given :D)

I'm thankful for HIM!!

If Necessary Use Words..

January 9, 2011

I thought about tagging this onto my thankful post for today, but I decided to instead to give this its own post.  This isn't a thankful post. It's my heart's desire based what God has been teaching me over the past few days.

It began Friday.  Despite the feeling of pure exhaustion (getting back to a schedule this week has proved to be quite a challenge for me and well, I was at camp so come on now who really ever gets enough sleep at camp), I wanted to read and journal a bit before bed.  One of my desires for 2011 is to put more scripture to memory.  After thought and some prayer I decided to join the challenge of memorizing Colossians in a year
so I flipped my Bible to Colossians 1:1-2 the passage for the week.  Up until this point I hadn't actually seen much sense in memorizing these verses.  It's the greeting that Paul gives to the church in Colossae as he begins his letter to them.  But as I read the words late Friday night something struck me as I read the eleven words.

Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God...

Paul's identity was in Christ.  He identifies himself not by his nationality, not by his occupation, not by his family members.  He identifies himself as an apostle of Christ Jesus.  

By the will of God.  He did nothing to earn the position of being an apostle.  It was only by God.  Nothing he did.  Everything God did.

As I drifted off to sleep those words stayed with me.  My prayer became that I would find my identity alone in Christ but not by me...solely by God's will.  

Saturday.  These eleven words continued to linger in my mind as I headed to session with our youth group.  My yearning to be found alone as an apostle of Christ.  That my words and actions would reflect this moved within me.  The speaker discussed how as Christians we all have spiritual gifts to share and use in the Body of Christ.  And when we moved into family time with our youth we started to discuss the spiritual gifts that we saw in each other.  It was encouraging to many of them to see how others saw Christ using them in a different ways.  

We went around the circle and when they came to me one of the girls who I've known for years shouted out, "When I was little Caitlin was my idol!  I wanted to be just like Caitlin!" 

That really struck me.  Not that I necessarily want to be someone's idol but that someone looked up to me like that was quite moving.  But that got me thinking even more...if people are looking up to me what example to do I want to set?  Who do I want them to see?  Christ.  That my actions and my words should point them to the Lover.  The Living God.  

Today came...and the speaker spoke of evangelism.  The speaker raised the question of what was evangelism.  Someone called out, "Having a conversation with someone about Christ."  Then someone else called out, "It's more than that...it's a lifestyle.  It's more than our words.  It's our actions and lives pointing to Christ."  Immediately I thought of a favorite quote of mine by St. Francis of Assissi,

Preach the Gospel always, and if necessary, use words.

I want my life to be preach the love of Christ, the hope He offers.  But I want it to be more than the words that I speak (though my words are important).  I want my actions.  I want my thoughts.  I want my choices.  I want all that is about me to point to Christ.  I want everything that I am to preach Him.  Especially if people are watching.  If people are looking up to me then I don't want them to ever see me. I want them to see Christ.  I want my very being to cry out...

Caitlin, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God...


62/63/64 - A Three for One Kind of Day

Away for the weekend and well no internet access equates no thankful posts...but as I learn each day there is always to give thanks for...always...

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.
Philippians 4:4

Sixty-Two
I had the opportunity to attend the High School Winter Retreat in Lake Wales, FL this weekend with the amazing youth group I have grown to love quite a bit in the past few months.  I'm thankful and blessed have this weekend with them.  To share in their laughs.  To see how God is at work in their life.  To worship with them.  As I prepare to leave in a few short weeks it was so encouraging to have this time with them.  I'm excited to see how God uses them and rises them up in the coming weeks, months, and years.  I believe God has some great plans in store for these amazing youth.  They remind that we should never ever look down on them because of their age, these youth are such an example to me of how to live for Christ (1 Timothy 4:12).

Sixty-Three
On Saturday I was particularly thankful for two of our high school girls.  They told me on Friday was we drove our newly returned church bus to the retreat that at some point during the weekend they wanted to get all the girls in our group together and have a chance to bound together.  They didn't like the cliques they were seeing and they wanted to a chance to break down some of those walls and really become united as sisters in Christ.  These two without any leading or help from any of the leaders brought the girls together yesterday.  And though it wasn't quite they had hoped for, they persevered through it even when it was especially challenging.  They didn't show their discouragement as some of their own friends acted uninterested. They spoke from the heart and when their original plan didn't work they moved forth to share something else.  It's hard in the mist of your peers - especially if they seem uninterested - to stand firm and share what God has laid on your heart and these two did just that.  I was amazed at the leadership they exhibited.  I believe God has great things in store for these two - and the rest of the youth group - and I pray that their desire to see the girls united would be something they see fulfilled.  


Sixty-Four
And coming off of an amazing weekend - also frequently referred to as mountaintop experiences - it amazes me how quickly we can drop into the valley.  Today was a hard day.  Details I will spare you but their changes occurring that many of us are struggling with.  Things may be happening sooner than we like, things are happening that we don't like and don't understand.  Though change brings growth and growth is a necessity for life with Him...change is hard.  Especially when there is so much uncertainty in the mist of the change.  The reality of how change is hit me as I stood in the church parking with several after arriving in LP after the retreat and one of the youth started to cry over what's happening.  And several of us joined in and as I drove home more and more tears flowed and then when I got home even more came.  The confusion this change is bringing was harder than I could bear.  

After a much needed nap the tears finally settled, but the worry and confusion loomed overhead.  I turned on my iTunes and hit the shuffle button.  Now I have a lot of music on my iTunes so it isn't a rare occurrence for me to hear an unfamiliar song when I opt for the shuffle mode - either because I forgot I had it or it's the sign I have reached the point of too much music.  And I listened to song after song that I knew and loved, when one started playing that I didn't recognize.  I went to flip longing for the familiar when I noticed it was actually by one of my favorite bands, so I decided to listen...and I found myself beyond thankful for the words spoken...

"Slow Down" by Chasen
You see all of the pieces 
But I see a life I can mold
You see a bunch of blank pages
But I see potential untold

Before you give up
Before your heart breaks
Open your eyes to this picture of grace, and just

Slow down take a breath in this moment
Leave all the worries you're carrying
Be still in the midst of this madness
Let go of all that you fear 'cause
I've already set your heart free
So leave all the changing to me

You see the doubt and the questions
But I see the wrestling with faith
You see someone worth nothing
But I see someone I can save

Before you give up
Before your heart breaks
Open your eyes to this picture of grace, and just

Life is a long road
So hard to follow
You feel like you'll never win
Just trust in my love
And let me take care of the rest
So you can begin


I bolded the chorus because that spoke to my heart.  Like God serenading me with what I needed to hear.  That I have to leave all of the changing to Him.  I can't worry about what happens.  I can't feel guilty about what happens.  I have to trust Him.  Give this to Him.  He is in control.  And all of this will be for His glory...His good...my good.  Change is hard but change causes growth and growth is essential. 


Sixty-One - Things I Didn't Realize I Could Be So Thankful For

January 6, 2011

I didn't realize I could be so thankful for a bus.  But when the church bus returned, fully repaired today I found myself giddy with excitement.  Especially when at the last minute we found ourselves without transportation for today's kids' club - our bus was back and driveable.  I just didn't think I would ever be so thankful for a bus.

I didn't realize I could be so thankful for silly faces...but today these silly faces brought joy to my heart and a smile to my face.  It amazes me how much God has taught me and much He has grown both them and me.  I'm thankful for their silly faces, covered with icing and all.





I didn't realize I could be so thankful for sweet little handmade birthday cards...birthday cards for Jesus :)






I didn't realize that I could be so thankful for freezing cold soccer games.  But the chance to see Chanah Banana score her second goal ever and Carlyn-My-Darlin be more interested in the playing in the goal than keeping goal (though when she failed to save the goal do to the former she fell to the ground like she failed to save the winning shot in the World Cup) was worth it :)





I love realizing how many things I have to be thankful that I didn't even realize I could be or would be thankful for :D

Sixty - Wonder

Wonder. The wonder as her eyes light up when she encounters something new.  The wonder in finding joy and pleasure in the simplest things in life.  The wonder and excitement that light up her face upon seeing her mom or dad.  


As repeatedly stated I firmly believe I learn some my deepest and most important lessons from children.  And in the last few months though this little girl who's vocabulary though small is rapidly expanding has taught me quite bit.  And today I as watched her splash in the fountain (or cup as she calls it - anything with water in it is a cup to her) and try so hard to reach her little hand to the top of, I couldn't help but be reminded of the wonder this little one possesses.  She wondered what was at the top, she wondered why I wasn't playing in the fountain (she kept looking at me and pointing for me to come splash along with her - which I ended up obliging), she wondered how wet she could get before I made her stop.  Her eyes exploded with the wonder.

As I watched and splashed with her I noticed the new light-post which has been placed in our church courtyard.  It's the Narnia lamppost.  Or at least it reminds of the the Narnia lamppost.  Upon glancing at the lamp-post God brought to mind something I had read the previous night in my A Year with Aslan book.  

The exert spoke of the Beavers announcing to the Pevensie children that Aslan is on the move.  Though none of the children have heard of Aslan something quite interesting stirs within each of them.  Wonder at the sound of his name.

"Perhaps it has soemtimes happeneded to you in a dream that someone says something which  you don't understand but in the dream it feels as if it had some enormous meaning - either a terrifying one which turns the whole dream into a nightmare or else a lovely meaning too lovely to put into words, which makes the dream so beautiful that you remember it al your life and are always wishing you could get into that dream again.  It was like that now.  At the name of Aslan each one of the children felt something jump inside.  Edmund felt a sensation of mysterious horror.  Perter felt suddenly brave and adventurous.  Susan felt as if some delicious smell or some delightful strain of music had just floated by her.  And Lucy  got the feeling you have when you wake up in the morning and realize that is is the beginning of the holidays or the beginning of summer." (The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis)

Does hearing the name of Jesus produce that kind of wonder.  Do my eyes light up when His name is spoken? Do I find wonder joy and pleasure at the just the mention of His name? 

I'm thankful for the reminder of wonder.  The wonder of Christ.  The wonder and excitement at hearing His name.


Number Fifty-Nine

January 4, 2011

My eyelids feel as if bricks have attached to them. And they seem to be becoming heavier by the minute. So because of sheer tiredness, the desire to knit (gosh I sound I like an old lady haha...and I'm kind of okay with haha) and read, but more importantly I want and need some Jesus time, this will be a short post.

As I facebook chatted with a good friend of mine I was asked the simple question, "How are you?" My answer, "I'm excellent." Why? In a sense why not. I have so much to be thankful for. This life though challenging is growing me. I prayerfully and excitedly anticipate of what lies on the horizon and I feel a twinge of sadness of the "See you laters" which soon leave my mouth. I am loved. I am saved. I am known by the Creator, the Master, the Lover, God. My hearts yearns to ache and desire Him with an undivided heart. So why not be excellent.

As I ponder more about feeling excellent today I think today I found myself very encouraged by so many people. Kind words heal the soul. Kind words often carry us through. Encouragement was found in the most unexpected places today and I found myself blessed and surprised by the love of Christ again and again.

My challenge tomorrow...speak words of encouragement into the lives of others. Pass on the blessings and love shown to me today, so they too may feel excellent at the end of the day.

"Let's see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out..."
Hebrews 10:24

57 and 58

January 3, 2011

Fifty-Seven - Seven Thankful Fors from Yesterday

  1. For a church family you rejoice with me at the calling God has placed on my life.  Was waiting until I had it in my hands to post about it (though I'm pretty sure once it is in my hands there will be another post thanking God for that provision :D), but I guess now is a good time to announce to those who don't already know - my visa has been approved :D  I don't have many more details other than that as I am still waiting to hear from the Consulate (I have begun my attempt to contact them now though) for further instructions.  But my associate pastor announced this huge praise at church yesterday and it was such a blessing to have so many people - even people I don't really know - rejoice with me.  I'm thankful to know that as I set forth on this journey, my church family is being the hands and feet of Christ in LP and lifting up God's ministry in Spain in prayer.
  2. For the hugs of precious children.  They have been a such a blessing to me and have taught me so much.  They amaze me constantly with their love for God and others.  I can honestly say that my heart breaks a little knowing that in a few weeks I'll be leaving them.  (Miss Chanah Banana - who I watched grow in God so much over the past few months - told me that I couldn't leave...though a few months ago she chastised another little girl who said the same thing with, "She has to go! God's calling her! Duh!" - I may have added in the duh for further emphasis...but that was definitely her tone).  I hope to really pour out to them this last month and I pray that someone amazing will rise up and serve God's children.
  3. For coffee.  I know that sounds quite trivial...but I am quite thankful for coffee.  I'm sure many of you reading this are thinking, "The words of a true addict," but I seriously love the stuff haha
  4. For new knitting stuff.  Okay, when I say knitting I mean loom knitting - it's like knitting for dummies or cheat knitting - but I love it!  So I'm feeling ambitious and if you're nice I might make you something haha
  5. For my whole family being in church.  Since my dad was sick so long this fall and then even after he was left the hospital/rehab it took him a while to regain the energy to do the normal everyday things.  Mornings and evenings were especially hard for him. But for the second time now my whole family has been together at church seated in the same pew.  
  6. For living in a small town.  I won't lie, I'm not always thankful for this.  Actually in high school, I think I was rarely if ever thankful for especially when certain situations arose.  But I really do love living in a small town/county because I love running into people I know pretty much everywhere I go.  From Walmart to Publix we kept seeing people we knew and it's always nice to run into a smiling face.
  7. For love.  For the love of my family.  For the love of my friends.  For the love of my Father. For LOVE.

Fifty-Eight - Eight Thankful Fors from Today

  1. For productivity.  I definitely could have gotten a lot more accomplished, but given the last two weeks and my state of mind for the last 6+ months the amount I got done wasn't too bad.  I planned kids' club for tomorrow with everything ready to go except for printing, wrote some thank-you notes (I have a few more to go though), made some phone calls and e-mails that I had been neglecting and I even cleaned my room.  Hopefully, the rest of the week will lead to even more productivity and less procrastination.
  2. For the chance to run/walk in gorgeous weather.  I'm trying to be a bit more active, so I attempted to run today.  Let's just say my run turned out to be a walk (though I did run some) but it was nice to be in the fresh air.  
  3. For my hair doing what I wanted it to do the first time.  I know how shallow that sounds, but my hair literally has a mind of its own.  So when it does what I want it to do the first time, it's kind of a big deal.  And we tend to have differing and opposing ideas of how it should behave or how it should be done for the day.  Most days I lose this battle.  But today my dominating hair, lost - or at least conceded.  It's always a great day when this occurs :)
  4. For yummy dinners. My momma made us dinner in my dad's new pressure cooker.  It was quite tasty.  I'm thankful for family dinners (even if Ian wasn't there) and that we had a way to prepare them since our oven is fried (see Fifty-Two) for details.
  5. For an e-mail letting me that financially I am good to go to Spain as once I have a visa in hand!  Such an answer to pray :)
  6. For realizations of God at work.  I chatted with a friend of mine earlier today and he asked if I ever thought I would return to Lake Placid.  Though my honest answer is no - at least not in the sense of living here permanently - if God revealed to me and called me back here I would willing return.  And then I had the realization that struck me as quite interesting.  In December I wrestled with God as to whether He would have me go to Spain this winter or if I was to wait until the next school year begins in August.  I had come to a peace that if I were to stay in Lake Placid longer or if I was to go to Spain soon, then I was okay with either.  My heart's longing was to be where God desired me - whether He desired me in Lake Placid or Spain or somewhere else I would find His joy wherever He lead or kept me.  Some after I received notification of my visa's approval.   
  7. For life.  For life with God-given purposes.  For life abundantly.  For life eternally.  For life with my Beloved.
  8. For Jeremiah 9:23-24.  These verses are the focus of our lesson at kids' club tomorrow.  Don't boast in wealth, strength, or wisdom; but if I must boast, boast in relationship I have been given with the loving God.  Boast that the LORD desires a relationship with me.  Boast that He made a way through Emmanuel.  Boast that He entered my mess and my sin, and offers me relationship with Him.  Boast that He loves me.
What are you thankful for today??

Fifty-Six: The Year of...

January 2, 2011

Today marks the first day of 2011.  2011.  Twenty-Eleven.  Two Thousand Eleven.  


In 2011 I decided I would make no resolutions.  I would vow to exercise daily or eat healthy.  I wasn't going to promise myself that I would keep a daily journal or take more photographs.  I want do these things anyway and I don't want to do them merely to because it's the first of the year and I needed a new resolution.  


But my heart's cry is to live 2011 to the fullest.  To live authentically.  To live a life of love.  To live experiencing my Beloved.  To live in His belonging.  To live as an act of giving - giving to God, giving to others.  


"A Holy Experience" is a blog I enjoy reading.  The woman who writes offers so much wisdom about Christ-living, she writes of gratitude of the all the blessings we have been bestowed by a our Creator, and worship Him with all that we are.  Her post the other day greatly intrigued me.  She wrote how just as she names her children, she has begun to name years.  Her reasoning, "because each one births a different life that needs to be raised up and remembered."


This phrase has stuck with me.  The idea that each year births something different didn't seem like a foreign concept to me.  Each year does bring about something different than the previous.  Each year brings about changes.  Each year causes growth.  No two years are ever the same.  But the idea that each year produces life that needs to be raised up and remembered, now that rang within as something new and unfamiliar - but intriguing.  The life I live in 2011 will be different than 2010.  But how would I raise it up and remember?  Or more importantly how would God raise it up and have me remember it? 


For the past few days I have prayed and sought the Lord about what to name this year.  What is His desire for me this year?  What will a name remind me of His purpose and desire for me this year?


I toyed with several names for 2011.  


The Year of Experiencing - the year of experiencing God through all areas, all senses.  In all things experiencing life with Him.


No...though I want to experience Him in all areas of my life and know He desires me to experience Him in all areas, I knew this wasn't the name of 2011.


The Year of Belonging...the year of focusing on truly belonging to my Beloved.  The year of giving back and giving away all that truly belongs to Him...everything.


But again no...my heart cries to fully focus on how I am my Beloved's and my Beloved is mine and I want to let of all the things in this world which tie me down and give back to Him...but 2011 was not to be called The Year of Belonging.


The Year of Authenticity...the year of being genuine.  The year I allow God to tear down the walls and remove all my masks.  Being subject to cliche I move from just talking the talk to walking the walk.


And I almost named my 2011 The Year of Authenticity...but then again God said no.  That was not what I was to call this year.


Sometimes just like the naming of a baby you have to wait for it to arrive before you can fully decide upon its name...2011 could not be christened until it arrived.  

2011's name came in a way unexpected.

My last week of 2010 comprised of a lot of time of sorting things and deciding what to keep and what to get rid of.  As a slave to materialism, this is a struggle for me.  Today as we packed things in bags and boxes to take a local thrift store, I wanted to keep certain books and various pieces of clothing.  I kept thinking, "What if I need this?  What if I want to wear this? What if...?  What if...?"  And in the gentle whisper He spoke...

"What is...you have lived in 'what if' for so long, My beloved.  Live in 'what is,' My child."


The Year of What Is...letting go of all the what if and seeking to live in what is...experiencing the love my Beloved in what is.


I imagine there will be more to come about The Year of What Is...but for now I'm thankful for 2011 and The Year of What Is...I'm thankful for what The Year of What Is will bring :)

This is what is...

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

 Who, being in very nature God, 

   did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; 
rather, he made himself nothing 
   by taking the very nature of a servant, 
   being made in human likeness. 
And being found in appearance as a man, 
   he humbled himself 
   by becoming obedient to death— 
      even death on a cross!


 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place 

   and gave him the name that is above every name, 
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, 
   in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 
and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, 
   to the glory of God the Father.

Philippians 2:1-11



 
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